What’s a virtual girl to do?

Why do I stay in SL?  In the last two weeks, I’ve asked myself this question ALOT.  I catch flack from friends and family members about the amount of time I spend online.  As most do, I started my business with the intention of being able to cover my tier and fees.  I started building houses though for myself.  I only had a 512, so I wanted a nice house that I could still have furniture in.  Turned out other people liked my house too, so I sold it and started making more.  Over the past year I’ve taught myself how to build (with a lot of assistance from good friends at the Ivory Tower), I’ve taught myself photoshop (does anyone ever really learn every single thing you can do with photoshop?), I’ve studied magazines and online sites for ideas on color and fashion. I’ve made friends – people whose talents and skills never cease to fill me with awe.  I love building.  I love creating my own textures. I never realized how much it would please me to create. Second Life has given me that opportunity.

I’m sure this has happened to a lot of people, but I was working on a necklace.  It’s gone.  Oh not completely gone I suppose.  Lost somewhere in the region of Taber.  The prims for it still appear to be on my land.  But essentially, it’s gone. My joy of creating it is gone anyways, I can’t find the initiative to look for it.  The frustration of playing SL right now is so high that I’m planning on turning off my computer for the rest of today.  I think I’ll go shopping in RL.

The point is – something is terribly wrong.  I know this has been said before,  I’ve read it in all the blogs myself.  Lately I’ve caught myself trying to determine, when is the best time to try to work on something in SL?  Late at night, when the lowest concurrency is occurring?  This is a akin to trying to determine when to leave for work to beat traffic.  I’m no longer concentrating on creating something I like and am proud of, I’m trying to figure out how to work with a broken tool.  Why do I stay in SL? How much longer for the flame of dissatisfaction to grow into an uncontrollable wildfire? How much longer for us all? I’m sure some will say, well, if you don’t like, leave. But cut me some slack, here – the reality is, I desperately want to stay. But will I be able too?



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